dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
