Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
you smelled like vodka, i think that's why my grandma liked you
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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