Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
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