Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
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