Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
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