As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Randomize
