was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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