I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
