So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
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