Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I just googled if crying burns calories
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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