Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
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