Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
Just in case you were wondering I sent you a text at 4:37 in the morning because I woke up on the side of the highway at that time
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
jump out the window naked night went bad
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