Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Randomize