I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize
