your thong is hanging out like whoa
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Its like a zucchini between his legs. An orgasmic zucchini.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
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