he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
