3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
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