My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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