using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
is it weird that i blow-dry my hair and poop at the same time?
not any weirder than you telling me this at 4 in the morning
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I'd tell u there's strippers to make you get here faster, but that would be a blatant lie... There's strippers here.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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