Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Why even have a ground level apt if you're not gonna let me climb out the window? I hate walk of shaming in front of toddlers...
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
