so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon�
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
