You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
