I'll bet she douches with gravy.
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."�
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
