You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
