and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize
