put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Randomize
