You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
Randomize
