She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
