I look better un-naked...
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Did I run away from you last night?
Yeah it was a great moment for our friendship
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
