My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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