omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
