Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
So, in keeping with the last two years, are we going to watch the new Hobbit movie on acid again? It's kinda starting to feel like a Christmas tradition.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Randomize
