i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
Randomize
