Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Randomize
