you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Randomize
