how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Randomize
