and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Randomize
