on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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