Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
