I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
