Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I lost the right to judge tonight
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
