Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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