Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
So I said "fuck it" and made myself a sandwich
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
