I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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