I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Randomize
