Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
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