His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Randomize
