Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
Randomize
