Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Randomize
