it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
Randomize
